Good teachers don't leave without warning. They tell schools what's wrong. The problem? Schools aren't listening until she hands in her resignation.
By Kim Lester
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Somebody's gotta say it.
If the first time a school seriously asks a teacher what went wrong is after she has submitted her resignation, the school is not trying to retain her anymore.
We must know that exit interviews are too late to be considered a teacher retention strategy. They only document why the teacher is leaving. And by then, the decision has already been made. Her application has been sent. The offer has been accepted. She has realized the peace that has come since she has decided to leave.
It is vital to note that retention happens while teachers are still at the school. Not after she announced that she will be leaving.
This is what I know. Most good teachers, the teachers schools want and need to stay, do not leave without warning.
The warning may not sound different. It does not usually start with this: I am thinking about resigning.
What the Warnings Really Sound Like
"I cannot keep up with this workload."
"I need more support with this class."
"We keep losing all of our planning time."
"This new literacy expectation is taking the time I need for teaching."
"No one is listening to us."
These are warnings. These are teachers saying something needs to change. Schools frequently hear those types of statements. They response is usually an explanation of why the concern cannot be fixed instead of listening to what the teacher needs.
And sometimes the warning is not something a teacher says, but is something she does instead.
She may stop volunteering for extra things like she always has. She may stop bringing new ideas to meetings or stop joining committees. Maybe, she becomes quieter in staff meetings and no longer shares like she used to.
Instead, she does what is required and goes home.
She stops being fully present in the building. She does just enough to get through each and every day.
Schools may see that teacher still showing up every day and assume she is fine. But showing up does not always mean someone is staying. Sometimes it means she just has not left yet.
The Difference Between Showing Up and Staying
There is a difference between a teacher who is present and a teacher who is engaged. A teacher can show up and do her job and still be in the process of leaving. She can be physically there while mentally making peace with departure.
A teacher who stops bringing ideas is not negative. She is protecting herself. A teacher who becomes quieter is not content. She is losing hope that anything will change.
And when a school misses these signs, it is not because the teacher was not clear. It is because the school was not listening.
I wish I had done this differently. I wish I had sat down with teachers long before anyone was considering leaving. I wish I had asked the questions that matter. And I wish I had listened without becoming defensive. I lost teachers some great and some not. Maybe things would have been different had I listened as a school leader.
What Schools Should Do Instead - What I Should Have Done Differently
So what should schools do instead of exit interviews? Start having stay conversations before anyone is considering leaving. And I do not mean asking teachers once a year in a survey whether they are happy.
Sit down with teachers and ask real questions:
"What part of your work is becoming hardest to sustain?"
"What is taking your time without helping your students?"
"Where do you need more support?"
"What have you stopped bringing up because you do not believe anything will change?"
Then listen without becoming defensive. That will be difficult but will be required.
Do not immediately explain why every concern cannot be fixed. First, determine what can be changed at the school level.
Teachers must meet during planning time. Everyone knows that. But...maybe planning time can be protected more carefully. Maybe teacher workload can be examined more honestly. Maybe behavior concerns can be responded to more consistently. Maybe the school can stop automatically giving more work to the teachers who have proven they can handle it and look at balancing the workload for all.
Before adding another expectation or initiative, determine what can be removed instead of piling on. Then, when you share, be clear about what is going away to allow them to support with what the new plan.
And when the problem requires district action, take the concern to district leaders even when there are real worries that the district will not respond. Do not accept a no without trying. Do not stop advocating. Do let your teachers know you are working on it and how.
The Pattern Matters
As you have these conversation, start looking for patterns in what you hear. If several strong teachers are saying the same thing, that is not a group of negative people. That is information. That is a signal. That is your teachers telling you something needs to change.
And after teachers speak, close the loop. Tell them what will change. Tell them what cannot change yet. Tell them what is being taken to the district. Then follow through.
Because asking for teacher input and doing nothing with it teaches teachers to stop telling the truth.
It teaches them that speaking up does not matter. It teaches them that staying quiet protects them better than honesty does. And it pushes them closer to the door.
Where You Stand When You Walk Away From This
By the time a teacher reaches the exit interview, she has usually already made peace with leaving. The application has been submitted. The offer has been accepted. The decision has been made.
If a school only asks why after the resignation, it waited until the answer could no longer help keep her.
That is the hard truth.
Retention is not built in exit interviews. Retention is built in the conversations that happen before anyone is thinking about leaving. It is built when schools listen to warnings. It is built when something actually changes because a teacher spoke up. It is built when teachers see that being honest about their struggle is met with real response, not just explanation.
If you are a teacher and you are giving warnings that are not being heard, know this. You are not wrong for naming what is unsustainable. You are not negative for speaking up.
And you are not alone. Other good teachers are naming the same things right now. They are struggling with the same workload. They are wondering if they can keep doing this. They are watching to see if anything changes when someone speaks up.
Schools need to hear that. Schools need to know that good teachers are at a breaking point and looking for a reason to stay.
And here's what matters: You can teach and protect yourself at the same time. You can set boundaries around your time. You can decide what work belongs in your bag and what belongs to the school day. You can stay in this profession without losing yourself.
That is possible. That matters.
If you are a school leader and you realize you have been waiting for exit interviews to ask why, there is still time. Start the conversations now. Ask the questions. Listen without defending. And then do something with what you hear.
If this landed somewhere true for you, I want you to know something.
Teachers give schools many chances to listen before they leave. Many warnings. Many signals. The problem is not that teachers do not tell the truth. The problem is that schools are not ready to hear it.
The Get Out the Door Guide is for teachers who want to protect their evening and set boundaries while they are actively teaching. It is completely free. It gives you concrete tools to help you end your day on your own terms and make clear decisions about what is sustainable and what is not.
https://afterthebells.org/pages/get-out-the-door-guide
Take care of yourself the way you take care of everyone else.
Kim 🩷🌿